Coping With Reality and Loss: the pain beneath our pain
As a somatic therapist in Denver and Boulder, Colorado, I work with many people who have experienced loss and the pain associated with that loss.
The pain of loss can come from many sources: the death or serious illness of a loved one, a divorce, or the loss of a job, relationship or beloved pet. Sometimes those losses are not only tragic but sudden.
The personal losses that keep bringing pain don’t have to be recent to bring up terrible feelings. Sometimes clients push away or bury the pain of loss for years because they don’t feel able to deal with it.
Many other types of losses can also emotionally cripple people. These losses might include the end of a career, a personal or business bankruptcy or the loss of a home. Somatic therapy doesn’t judge. It can help clients restore themselves and reduce the debilitating physical and emotional effects of depression and worry as clients grieve their losses and begin again.
No easy answers
When tragic loss occurs, there often aren’t any simple answers or solutions. Nothing can make sense of or ease the pain. The most we can do for a person in that experience is be with them where they are. In such moments somatic therapy may be of help in supporting relaxation and encouraging rest from the pain.
Indeed, as a Denver and Boulder-based somatic therapist trained in the Rosen Method, one of my goals is to enlist the body’s support to help you heal.
As a culture, we spend a lot of time seeking pleasure and trying to avoid pain. That is understandable. We are physical beings and life can be hard.
But it takes a lot of energy to run or hide from our pain. We re-press and de-press the truth of what we are feeling much of the time.
We keep doing this, of course, until we can’t. Repression and depression may eventually give rise to chronic pain and chronic fatigue.
Attempts at managing and masking the pain and fatigue through artificial means can only get us so far. It is not a cure.
Holding it in rarely keeps it there!
Much of our pain and tiredness simply come from holding in the pain of loss and holding back the truth of what we are feeling. It even happens when we sleep. Those who have experienced loss often wake up feeling worse pain or discomfort than when they went to sleep.
The somatic work I do is about gently releasing the tension we hold in our bodies and returning to a more simple state of relaxation and openness no matter what has happened to us or what is happening now.
New ways of managing stress are found. Ease and freedom are restored. Clarity, focus, and energy return. When we can relax even in the midst of life’s most painful times, we can relax anytime.
You deserve to rest and not live in pain. There is a better way.
Todd R. Schwartz is a somatic, whole person therapist and Rosen Method Bodywork practitioner with offices in Denver and Boulder, Colorado. To reach Todd, please call him at 303-704-8331.
My work is not a form of, nor a substitute for, medical and mental health diagnosis, care, and treatment. My work is, however, a fine complement to those and all other health and wellness approaches.
Copyright © Todd R. Schwartz, 2024.